let's bury shit and set it on fire and be fucking done with it forever until we need it again

i am working on a long poem with page breaks.
i am calling it

when i wake up
i will bury you
in a parking lot.

things that are going to happen in this poem

* i go to sleep
* i am covered in sheets. hundreds of small shitty birds carry me a great distance and drop me down a chimney into a fire.
* i wake up in a house on a river.
* there are people in this house and they all sleep in bunk beds.
* no one can swim but they can all sink and also hold their breath very well.
* they probably don't have gills.
* in the kitchen of this house there is a smaller river and in this river are fish.
* things catch on fire that do not usually catch on fire.
* somehow and at some point everyone in the house dies and i rip up all the floorboards and nail them to the bunk beds and watch as everything sinks into the ocean.
* i probably catch a train and it takes me somewhere. the train is running across the water and i have to run to catch it. this is a dream everyone in the house shares.
* before that happens i think there will be a canoe trip. possibly some sex.
* i wake up in the city and all sorts of things come out of my mouth.
* at some point i float up into the sky and i become the moon and i give you a blanket and tuck you in at night.
* something else will happen. there will be elaborate fireworks displays. and lots of burials. in all sorts of places.

tonight i am going to read an entire chapbook. a small book. i think i am just going to call them small books. little books. mini books.
i feel like tonight when i read i will make everyone in the bars balls drop. through sheer power. i am saying i feel powerful. which is nice.

there was more to this post. i wrote it while i was in the bathroom. poop was exploding out of me. it was great. great may not be the right word. i hope that you understand me.

i think i am done with sadness. in writing.

but then again i also think i don't understand how sadness is supposed to work. or that i don't properly understand sadness correctly.


also this movie looks amazing. i am really excited for it.

well shit

so i got into columbia.

and also got rejected from brown, ut austin, uc san diego and also the iowa writer's workshop.

i am not afraid. i am going to wrestle the idea of debt to the ground i am going to make it eat dirt until it think dirt tastes like a piece of roasted sockeye salmon.

together we will scale mountains and conquer everything that can be conquered and then we will kill each other and eat each other and step out of each others mouths as if nothing had changed, but everything has changed.

also i have two pieces up. they are linked in the basically the collected works section.

in a day or two i will edit this post and link things i really like in the new willows wept. there are lots of things i really like in the new willows wept. did you read darby larson's octopus piece? i think about it almost every day probably.

also here are some drawings from the show i had


i was adrift.



outside the show was higher than the windows and things were circling overhead



and we all got drowned.



it is gonna rain.



i was lost once.