thor had been playing civilization iv for 3 days straight and when he conquered sparta he found it full of jews. and then his people were upset because they wanted baths and restrooms and places for their kids to go to school, plus sparta wanted a fucking synagogue.
so he walked away from his desktop for a week. borrowing history textbooks from 6th graders with heartbreak in their eyes, he sat on the steps with a carton of camel wides in his lap and an old cardboard scotch case for an ashtray, waiting there and watching the skies and the sidewalks for an answer.
the next day he turned on his monitor and saw that somebody had bombed pancake town, the cradle of his civilization, and that the people of sparta were still demanding a syagogue and that syrup city still needed baths and aqueducts. so he threw up his hands, grabbed a gallon of olive oil, said THAT IS IT! I FUCKING QUIT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS PRESSURE!
and that is when my friend thor moved to the jungle.