isn't this what you were looking for?

the weather may change and the leaves may fall but this is not a metaphor

i asked her how things were
and she said things were colder
i asked her what she meant by that
and she said that things were a lot colder now than they had been around 9.

afterwards i got up, and brushed my teeth
vigorously.
foam built up and spilled out of my mouth
and onto my hand.
i spat, and it felt great.

later, once things began to change,
we sat outside on collapsible lawn chairs
and watched, as two children ran at each other
head first
from a great distance.

1 comment:

j o l i said...

i dont like the "it felt great" part. it's too direct.

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