attempting to establish a position

i sat down yesterday to start making a list
of the things people say or do.
she asked if i meant all the things
that was what i meant, right?
i said no. or. i said that we’d see.
for the first time in a while
there was more stuff for dinner
than i could cook before it would go bad.
or, it seemed that way when i opened the fridge
after that conversation.

stepping out into the backyard
the sky felt ripped open
as four low-flying jets
flew past overhead.
she asked what the fuck was that?
i said it was jets
i was standing there still,
feet planted in the concrete
looking at the sun until i could still see it
with my eyes closed.

start the grill, she said.