isn't this what you were looking for?

the early edition

he said i once wanted to write a poem about how falling in love with you was like a first cigarette, but i wasn't really sure where else to go with that, and she said that was just the problem baby, sometimes you're all premise. when he asked her what she meant she just blew him a big wet raspberry red kiss, and opened herself an iced cold coca cola.


when she said i'm leaving you don't listen anymore he was looking at the table. on the table there was a ring from a green yuengling bottle, one of those moisture rings, and he was looking at it, not because he wanted to clean it or because he was mad that it was there, but just to look. and while he was looking he said to her no no baby please you didn't understand, cmere an sit with me a little hey, hey, shh but
what he meant was good bye. and she moved for the door but she thought about that couch and the things on it. and history. like the sort you find in texts.


Allen and Ada started out emailing lists of questions finding ways to tell the other everything about themselves that mattered or didn't, because sometimes it's the little things too like thunderstorms over rain or the need to be comfortable or for silence. sometimes he'd worry that what he said would drive her off because he was cranky, then she'd text him little things & he'd feel a part of something that was maybe already there before him.

58 days later they stopped talking and a friend told him look at it this way: she didn't like springsteen. and she told herself look at it this way: he really liked springsteen.


he heard her snap open an iced cold coca cola and he said baby that could rot your pliable teeth, and when she then said the sound of lighting a cigarette and taking a drag, he said i thought you quit for your bad back, big ass, weak ankles, allergies or the stomach parasites if that's what they even are. after a pause and thinking who are you calling baby she said what do you care about my caffeine or if i'm smoking even and he said nothing really, but i feel that it's important for me to stay on top of these things and after another pause he heard her smile and then she hung up, in case someone was watching.


she smoked camel 100's because i don't know, they made her feel long and slim in a way being anorexic or bulimic failed to do.

she isn't, anymore. anorexic or bulimic

but she does smoke camel 100's.


she was going in for a kiss while looking over his shoulder stealth like and was heard to remark honey, your handwriting is awful. ('awful' in italics). he continued writing and said well you kiss like a dude.

she asked him just what exactly does that mean and was taken a step back and when he lit a cigarette she took a step forward


when they sat down she said to him i need to know if we're going to get drunk tonight, and he looked confused and said maybe. why?

because i need to count the calories, she said.

you know, he went, if we have sex tonight, that could balance things out.

what she said to that, while adding figures on a napkin: i need to know if we're going to get drunk tonight.


joli said...

hi sasha. i liked your first couple sentences. i didnt have time to read the rest. sometimes i write like you write. and then i think that maybe we think the same, and then i think that maybe everyone thinks pretty much the same, but some people are too impaired to express what they think. and some people think they think things that they don't. k well see ya.

Carol said...

Your punctuation is an English teacher's nightmare.

That aside, I enjoyed this. A lot. And I cannot wait for more! :)

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