isn't this what you were looking for?

on a day just like this

i was born in a wide open space in a cardboard box turned upside down
when i stretched i would open my mouth wide and
let the pigeon shit slide down my gullet.

once, on a day just like this,
i was passengering around washington avenue
where they were selling crabs
and saw an acne scarred mexican
holding his arms like he was giving himself up
or running for reelection
in my head a great speckled bird
descended from the clouds
and swallowed him whole.

shrines would be built on the corner
and everyone would stand around
like a fire drill.

1 comment:

j o l i said...

how could pigeon shit slide down your gullet if you were inside a cardboard box that was turned upside down?

i dont like the verb 'passengering'.
or the verb 'saw'.

and also since when did i tell you you could use commas???????

but nice mexican visuals. where is he? could it maybe be important?

'came down' is also a weak phrase. but 'great speckled bird' is winner.

the shrines part is great.

but i think if people are standing around, the fire drill must have gone smoothly.

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