isn't this what you were looking for?

(832): 'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'

3:58 PM me: right now i am trying to figure out if mariah carey is black
3:59 PM "of afro-venezuelan descent"
4:02 PM also, irish
4:18 PM me: now you don't need to look it up
what are the worlds best part time interns for if not this
4:45 PM Shane: i have some terrible news
i hit the wall with the # stories
me: OH NO
what happened
Shane: keep thinking about a novel
4:46 PM me: shit work on that and go back to them
problem solved
Shane: something bigger
me: how does my solution not solve this problem
and turn the terrible news into simply really good news that i'll have to wait a little longer for
i don't understand
Shane: hahaha
i felt bad
4:47 PM i just thought "fuck these stories, i hate them"
me: fuck you i hate you
no, don't worry put it down work on the novel you'll go back to them because fuck you they're good
ryan call and i both think so
4:48 PM Shane: hahaha
me: and i mean, we
are fucking awesome
at writing and at being people
Shane: very true
4:50 PM me: so there
once again
i am the best part time half assed intern you could ever ask for
4:51 PM also, really, just about the third or fourth best thing ever you could ask for. top ten maybe. i'll places cede to all sorts of blowjobs.
Shane: you're fired
that's right, i'm firing you
me: WHAT
you can't fire me
Shane: you haven't done anything
the worst
4:52 PM the absolute worst
me: who will get you your fire marshall hat
Shane: ryan manning
or ben brooks
that's right, ben brooks is the new intern
he'll probably do something
and not just sit on the porch reading
me: FINE
Shane: where there is no internet
me: SEE HOW YOU LIKE ME NOT BEING YR INTERN
4:53 PM Shane: should be okay
nothing will change
4:54 PM me: when you wake up to an email from ben brooks but when you open it you think it's from me because you're still sleepy and have been dreaming about me and my emails, and then you read it and realize, unmistakeably, that sasha fletcher did not write this email, as it is capitalized when appropriate, and when this happens you will get a little sadder, but not in a way that will help yr writing, but in a way that will make it just a little bit harder to make it through each day, and also it will make yr erections last for shorter periods of time
incrementally.
but, i accept being fired, as i have done nothing.
4:55 PM you can however not fire me from being your internet friend, as google looks down on that sort of thing
Shane: well, of course
me: alright
if we are settled in all of this, then i accept
4:56 PM Shane: don't let the door hit you on the way out
me: I FUCKING WON'T
Shane is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Shane comes online
DON'T LET THE SADNESS CHOKE YOU TO DEATH





and i'm not bitter about it one bit.

1 comment:

ryan manning said...

The bitter taste is perceived by many to be unpleasant, sharp, or disagreeable.

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